is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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