Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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