I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
