I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
