Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
