You're so nebulous sometimes
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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