No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
