Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
