I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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