Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The air was thick with penises
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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