is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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