she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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