It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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