One girl and one boy is just not enough.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize