I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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