Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you traded sex for a burrito?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
BRING THE BAGELS
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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