Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
