Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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