What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The beer is more important than you right now.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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