apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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