But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
