My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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