apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
