She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
