it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize