When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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