ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
