shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
