I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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