chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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