google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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