so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
