I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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