Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Someone came in the potted fern
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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