grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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