i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
