She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I feel like death gave me a hand job
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize