I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He literally asked permission to hit on me
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
