he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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