So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
