I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
This baby is an asshole
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
