If i come over, it means nothing
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
