I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
