I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
