party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
