I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
