The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
