We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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