Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
