Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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