well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
