I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
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