2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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