Where is the hickey?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
