I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
